Being Beautiful

I am beautiful, no matter what they say-

Words can't bring me down.
I am beautiful...in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down....

Oh, no...
So, don't you bring me down today.
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While there are many other things I will share at some point, I am going to fast forward to the present and my decision to have weight loss surgery.  With that in mind, I am going to copy some posts I shared on Facebook to set the stage somewhat. There will be more posted and I will do my best to fill in some of the gaps..but for now...I think these say it best. I posted this on my Facebook page on July 22, 2015, one week after surgery.

I have struggled with my weight since I was 8 years old. That's 42 years of fighting. While some times have been better than others, there's never been a time it was easy. THE SCALE has been my nemesis...something to be feared and hated. (This may sound crazy to a lot of you but many of you will know what I mean). It has influenced and colored every thought, feeling and decision I've made about myself for over 40 years. My decision to have weight loss ...surgery was many years in the making and not one I came to easily. In the end I felt as though it was the right thing to do and I have gone through the entire preop process believing that and working to stay upbeat and positive.

Still, since surgery, there has been a nasty little voice in the back of my head whispering "This isn't going to work either and then what will you do?" Unfortunately, he's been saying things like that to me for a very long time and despite my best efforts I've just never been able to shake him loose. He's always been there every time I've failed and been quick to mock me when I fall...so it was no surprise to hear him working hard to undermine this step I've taken.

Today I had my 1 week post op follow up appointment. With great trepidation I once again faced my nemesis THE SCALE. As I stood there waiting to hear the results, that voice nearly deafened me and my heart was racing like crazy as I braced myself to deal with what I was about to hear and deal with the tears that were sure to follow.

I did burst into tears when the nurse gave me the numbers -- which I have done many times in my life after being weighed. However...this time that nasty voice had nothing to say --- absolutely NOTHING to say at all. And honestly...I don't think he ever will again.

Because not only is this chick healing well and recovering nicely...

She's also down 17 pounds.

Get ready world.

Here I come.