“Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.”
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Unbeknownst to me, in March of 1968 (in addition to being Pamela Rae), I also became Pammy. This was not the nickname given to me by my parents, but rather the nickname that would come to signify the deep love and relationship I have with my brothers and sister. Interestingly enough, as I have traveled through life and made dear and steadfast friendships, I have noticed an interesting phenomenon occur. Inevitably those who I have formed a deep friendship with always end up calling me Pammy. No prompting on my party...no backstory about my siblings shown or shared...it just sort of happens. Perhaps its a coincidence but I like to think it's not.
I have always taken my role as big sister seriously (sometimes TOO seriously if you ask my brothers!). At a very young age, my little psyche decided that I needed to try to take care of everyone -- an impossible job for the adults of the piece, let alone one little girl. I'm not sure WHY I adopted that mantra, but it's one that I still struggle to keep in balance today.
With Jason's arrival in 1968, I found myself with a new little person to love. Mama always says that she'd never seen a little helper like me -- and she says that Jason adored me and our bond was cemented early on. In 1970 Jeremy joined the family and our Three Musketeers status was born. In retrospect, I think I spent a lot of time mimicking your average Border Collie -- trying to herd my brothers along the way they needed to go, while giving them a nip and chasing them back into the fold when they wanted to take a detour that might cause them harm. For the most part, that worked fairly well -- but as is often the case with brothers and sister, we didn't always agree and sometimes we literally had to fight it out, fists and all. My mom, being the gentle soul, that she is, probably spent many an hour wondering where these loud, noisy, violent children came from, but when push came to shove -- and there was plenty of pushing and shoving -- she knew just how to handle us.
My parents divorced when I was 13 and in the melee that followed I became even more protective of my brothers, holding tightly to them in a world that had gone a bit mad. My dad, who we lived with at the time. remarried and in 1981 Leslie was born. By now I was a junior in high school and my 17 year old heart was so excited to have a sister -- even if I spent more time acting like she was my daughter. In 1984 Christopher arrived and our sibling circle was complete, with me being 20 years his senior.
My brothers and sister and I have faced some incredible challenges over the years and it would have been very easy for us NOT to be close. Jeremy returned to live with our mom in Florida to attend high school. It was very hard for me to accept being separated from him, although it was the right thing for him to do. In 1989 at the ages of 24, 21, 19, 8 and 5 we lost our father to heart disease, and our bonds became a little more tenuous. Still we managed to hang on and today, I am so blessed to have close, loving relationships with all of my siblings and their families that I would not trade for the world.
So what of Pamela Rae? In the aftermath of my father's passing, I struggled to find my way. I had managed to get my education degree from the University of Texas, but I had done nothing with it, and was lost in an unhealthy party life style that was leading me down dead end road after dead end road. But something was about to happen that would be the catalyst that would lead me to change my entire life. On January 9, 1992 my niece, Taylor Lauren was born. I flew from Texas to Florida in September of that year and in a week's time lost my heart completely.
I was about to become Aunt Pam.
I have always taken my role as big sister seriously (sometimes TOO seriously if you ask my brothers!). At a very young age, my little psyche decided that I needed to try to take care of everyone -- an impossible job for the adults of the piece, let alone one little girl. I'm not sure WHY I adopted that mantra, but it's one that I still struggle to keep in balance today.
With Jason's arrival in 1968, I found myself with a new little person to love. Mama always says that she'd never seen a little helper like me -- and she says that Jason adored me and our bond was cemented early on. In 1970 Jeremy joined the family and our Three Musketeers status was born. In retrospect, I think I spent a lot of time mimicking your average Border Collie -- trying to herd my brothers along the way they needed to go, while giving them a nip and chasing them back into the fold when they wanted to take a detour that might cause them harm. For the most part, that worked fairly well -- but as is often the case with brothers and sister, we didn't always agree and sometimes we literally had to fight it out, fists and all. My mom, being the gentle soul, that she is, probably spent many an hour wondering where these loud, noisy, violent children came from, but when push came to shove -- and there was plenty of pushing and shoving -- she knew just how to handle us.
My parents divorced when I was 13 and in the melee that followed I became even more protective of my brothers, holding tightly to them in a world that had gone a bit mad. My dad, who we lived with at the time. remarried and in 1981 Leslie was born. By now I was a junior in high school and my 17 year old heart was so excited to have a sister -- even if I spent more time acting like she was my daughter. In 1984 Christopher arrived and our sibling circle was complete, with me being 20 years his senior.
My brothers and sister and I have faced some incredible challenges over the years and it would have been very easy for us NOT to be close. Jeremy returned to live with our mom in Florida to attend high school. It was very hard for me to accept being separated from him, although it was the right thing for him to do. In 1989 at the ages of 24, 21, 19, 8 and 5 we lost our father to heart disease, and our bonds became a little more tenuous. Still we managed to hang on and today, I am so blessed to have close, loving relationships with all of my siblings and their families that I would not trade for the world.
So what of Pamela Rae? In the aftermath of my father's passing, I struggled to find my way. I had managed to get my education degree from the University of Texas, but I had done nothing with it, and was lost in an unhealthy party life style that was leading me down dead end road after dead end road. But something was about to happen that would be the catalyst that would lead me to change my entire life. On January 9, 1992 my niece, Taylor Lauren was born. I flew from Texas to Florida in September of that year and in a week's time lost my heart completely.
I was about to become Aunt Pam.
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| Three Goofy Musketeers! |
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| Christmas Morning (circa mid 1970's) |
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| Summer Fun At Universal Studios Orlando |
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| The Barkers |
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